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Pain March 25, 2014

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I thought I knew pain.

I had no fucking clue. 

I discovered a heart breaks; the whole body is swept along.
There is nothing salvageable left behind.
No knees to bend down.
No eyes to find pieces.
No hands to rebuild.
What stays is the darkest, blackest void and
A wishing that there really was nothing.

But the wishing, and the black, and the hole, and the pain gather like a starving tribe.

Yelling, gnashing, pounding, desperate for something to feed upon.No one comes.

No white horse, no morsels, no light, no relief.

That is when one screams, pleads for nothingness to arrive.
Numbness knocks, but refuses entry.
I close my eyes to be one with the darkness, but I am no longer capable of reunion.
I am married
To my pain.

I’ve Forgotten…. March 25, 2014

I miss you tomorrow already today,
the feelings of want never go away,
and I wait, and I close my eyes,
I drink…
surprise.

I fill my brain, ponder my calling, and peace,
I wait at the door….no feast.
I watch my soul open then close with a slam.
I have forgotten who I am…
without you.

I raise a flag in triumph;
Tears, fears at bay. I smiled, laughed, looked to a day….
that again will seem
too far away.
I have forgotten who I am
without you.

I hold open a door, that leads to a hall
and the hall leads….nowhere.
At all.
Until I see you, in the light, in the end
in the white,
catch me.
I will fall
without you.